All My Men (Dana Shaw Series Book 1) Read online

  My first novel, what a ride this has been. This book is dedicated to my husband who always supports my creative ventures!

  Prologue

  “We are going to get fucked up tonight ladies!” I shout. My long brown hair is wrapped around the curling iron. I look in the mirror and see the reflection of my best friends getting ready and shouting right along with me. Lizzo is blasting loud in the background.

  “I’m making out with someone tonight, I don’t even care who it is.” Allie says, flipping her blue hair around, giving it that tousled, careless look that takes twenty minutes to pull off. I love going to Allie’s place to pre-game and get ready.

  I may be pre-gaming a little too hard right now but fuck it. I am only gonna be young and hot once. “Allie, do you have more White Claws?” An evil smirk plastered across my face.

  She knows I am beyond the point of no return. “YAASSSSS bitch, let’s get wasted! Check the fridge, there is a ton in there.”

  I stumble into the kitchen and open the fridge. I grab a White Claw out and pop it open.

  “What time is James picking us up?” My friend Laney yells to me. My pseudo boyfriend is always with us when we go out. He is a real good lay and a free Uber so I don’t complain.

  “He should be here any minute!” I respond. We all congregate in the living room, to do one last check to make sure we are all looking good. I hear the door to Allie’s apartment swing open, she has kind of an open-door policy when pre-gaming is going on.

  “Hey handsome!” I shout as James turns the corner into the living room. He walks up behind me, puts his arms around me. His lips find my ear, and his tongue caresses my earlobe. A shiver runs through my entire body.

  “Get a room you two!” Allie giggles as she interrupts our foreplay.

  I chug the rest of my White Claw, the girls finish their drinks. We turn off the music, and head out of the apartment. Allie locks up and we walk out towards the parking lot. James must really love my pussy to put up with us drunk bitches all the time. I hop in the passenger seat of James’ grey BMW. The girls hop in the back. James shuts my door for me and runs around to the driver’s side. He gets in and drives away.

  On the way to the party, the girls are in the back laughing about god knows what. James’ hand is all over me, it rests in between my thighs. It is a short drive to the house where the party is, to be honest I don’t even know whose house this is. Allie got invited by a friend, who got invited by another friend.

  We all get out. The girls and I link arms and head into the party. James walks behind us. This place is crowded. We make a B-line for the corner where the keg and alcohol are. The girls and I pour glasses of tequila and pineapple juice, it is my all-time favorite drink. James pours himself a beer from the keg.

  The music is blaring, a pretty good mix is playing. The girls start to wander around, per usual. James comes up behind me and slides his hand in my back pocket. The other hand firmly holding onto his beer. He places gentle kisses down my neck. This is the last lucid memory I have, up until James’ drives me home.

  Chapter 1

  “At least my room is on the first floor.” I say to myself as I slowly crack open my bedroom window. The air is chilly, it is pitch black outside. I am desperately hoping that this window cooperates with me and is not noisy. The last thing I want is to wake up my parents. The fact that I am a little dizzy is making this whole situation more difficult. I feel James’ breath lingering on my neck still, that man sure knows how to fuck. Now I am just ready to curl up in bed and pass out, my buzz is wearing off and I am done. I get one leg in the window and pull myself up. Suddenly, my bedroom light turns on. “Fuck.”

  “Nice language, Dana.” I hear my father’s voice.

  I didn’t look up immediately, but I knew my dad was standing right in front of me. It is like he has a fucking tracker on me and monitors my every movement.

  “I am so sick of you waking me and your mother up in the middle of the night. Look at you, you are a drunken mess. You are twenty-two years old; Dana grow the fuck up.” He shouts. His arms are rigid and crossed. He is glaring at me.

  I am too tired for this shit right now. “Can I at least get completely inside before you start screaming at me?” I ask, looking up at my dad with one leg still out the window.

  “No actually you can’t. Since you didn’t use the door you didn’t notice some of your stuff packed up in bags by the door. We are done with your crap; you are no longer allowed in this house.” He says firmly.

  My fucking father. This prick has the nerve to act like my behavior is inexcusable. My mouth dropped open; I can’t believe he is kicking me out in the middle of the night. Where does he expect me to go? I could tell by looking at him staring daggers at me, that I could not say another word to him. It wouldn’t be the first time that I pushed my luck and had him dragging me out of the house. I am not pushing his buttons any further tonight. In my mind all I can think about is how I am going to get through the night. Panic is starting to set in. I feel like this whole situation is going in slow motion. I pull my leg from the window and turn away. The sky looks even darker now than it did when I first got home. The chill is now making me extremely uncomfortable. I hear from behind me, the window shuts, and locks. I turn back around, and it is dark in my room. I have two options, either sit here and cry all night or figure out a plan.

  James dropped me off, but he is gone by now. He may have to be a last resort, but definitely not my first call. I already got what I needed from him tonight, but I think it would send the wrong message to spend the night with him. I couldn’t get a hold of my friends after our first couple shots. There is no way I will get a hold of them now, I am going to try anyway. No answer from either of them, I figured. I can feel the dew from the grass as I walk around the house to the front step. I see a couple bags sitting on the step. I plop myself down next to them. It is pitch black even on the step, they couldn’t even leave the light on for me at least. I open one of the bags and try to dig through it for a sweatshirt. It’s too dark to find anything so I close it back up. I have to call him; I have no other choice. I see his name in my contacts and I click on it to call. Will he even answer? The phone rings and my anxiety is heightened so much I feel nauseous, or that could be the booze finally settling. Either way it is not a good feeling.

  “Dana?” I hear his deep, concerned voice say my name as if it is a question.

  “Mike, I need you. Please come get me.” I say with a crack in my voice, trying to hold back tears.

  Surprisingly he did not ask any questions, other than to ask me if I am at mom and dad’s house. He is on his way to come get me. I am so happy in this moment to have an older brother. I haven’t talked to him in over a year and yet he is still there for me when I need him. Tears welled up in my eyes, my face was flush and warm from the tears streaming down. I am happy that I will have a place to sleep tonight. I have a little while before he gets here, so I use the light from my phone to illuminate over my bag. I open it and find a hoodie. I throw it on and close my bag back up. Mike does live with a bunch of guys, who I really don’t feel like meeting tonight. At this point it is 3:30am and I am hoping they are all either drunk and asleep or drunk and getting laid. Too busy to meet Mike’s little sis, I’m sure they don’t even know he has one.

  I see Mike’s old beat up, grey Honda Civic. I am so happy he still has the same car so I can recognize it. His car flies around the corner to get on the street, but the closer he gets the more he slows down. I decide to grab my bags and start walking towards him, so he doesn’t have to pull up near the house. The only lights on our street right now are coming from his car, so I am sure he wants to leave as soon as possi
ble. I throw my bags in the backseat and hop in the passenger seat. My breath is heavy, not from walking to the car but from the pure anxiety of having to look my brother in the eye for the first time in over a year. I look over, my eyes red, tears streaming down my face still. He is looking at me, gives me a nod, and he leans over for a quick hug before he starts driving away. Being inside this old car, brings back a lot of memories. I thought I would feel more tense in this situation, but I feel surprisingly comfortable. I appreciate him not making me talk about anything right now. He turns up the volume on the radio, I see he has his phone plugged in with an auxiliary cord.

  “And truth be told I miss you. And truth be told I’m lying….” Mike and I both look at each other and start singing along…. practically screaming. “When you see my face. Hope it gives you hell. Hope it gives you hell.” We break out into laughter; this feels so good. For a moment, my life is not completely fucked. We have loved taking long drives and listening to music together ever since Mike first got his license. Especially to real bangers like the All-American Rejects. I feel fifteen again, and I love every minute of it. After the forty-five-minute drive back to his house, I am exhausted. I live, well I guess I should say I lived in White Plains, NY. My brother had moved to a house in Wappingers Falls, NY. He wanted to get far away from my parents, but he just couldn’t. He is an MMA fighter, and refused to give up working with his trainer. So, he moved as far as he could without making the commute to his gym brutal. He found some other fighters and friends to move in with, so they could all share the rent on this old house. It is starting to get a bit brighter outside, as the sun is coming up. I see this old house we pull up to. It is much bigger than I expected. I look around, the neighborhood seems nice. We head inside, Mike looks over to the couch, and my eyes follow. There is a shirtless guy, snoring, practically hanging off the couch and some others near him sleeping on the floor. The place is a mess, not unlike the house I was partying at earlier. Beer bottles everywhere, music still playing. This is what I expected, a real frat house vibe. Mike motions for me to follow him up the stairs. I make my way up to the stairs slowly, trying to avoid making too much noise. Unfortunately, with each step I take the stairs creak.

  “Since Hayes stole your spot on the couch, and my friend Colt isn’t here right now I will let you take his room. It is right next to mine, so if you need anything just come on in.” Mike points to his room and opens the door to my room for the evening.

  “When is this Colt guy coming back?” I ask, a bit nervous to take someone’s room for the night.

  “Not sure, but I know he is gone for the weekend. He usually doesn’t hang around here when we all let loose.” Mike said with a laugh.

  “Thanks again, Mike. I really appreciate this.” The sadness still lingering in my voice. My voice cracks as I try to hold back more tears.

  “No worries. I gave you a pass tonight, but tomorrow we talk about what happened.” He says.

  “Deal.” I give him a hug and head towards the bed. Mike shut the door.

  I look around for a bit. I am so dead; I could pass out right here on the floor with the bed only a foot away. My curiosity takes over though, and I want to see what my new roommate is all about. I look around and it is neater than I expect a guy’s room to look. In the corner, I see a bench and weight set. Pull up bar hanging from the door. UFC passes hanging from his bedframe. Luckily his bed is made, which makes me feel a little better crawling into a stranger’s bed if I can pretend nobody has slept in it. I throw my bags down and take my sweatshirt off. I step out of my heels and my dress falls to the floor by my feet. I lower the sheets and slide in. My head hit the pillow, and I was done.

  “Announcement, I have a desperate naked chick in my bed. Who does she belong to?” A loud voice is yelling from the doorway.

  My head is throbbing from last night’s festivities. What a way to wake up…. wait who is yelling? I look up and see this tall guy standing up in the doorway, dripping sex and sweaty. No shirt, sweatpants hanging low. He had red hair, slicked back. A jaw that could cut glass. Gorgeous hazel eyes, that are currently giving me a death glare. Muscular chest, and for a moment I daydreamed about climbing him and letting him destroy me. Then I snapped back to reality.

  “Who the hell are you, and why are you being so loud?” I ask wiping my eyes, trying to wake myself up.

  “You have the nerve to hijack my bed, and ask me who the hell I am. Who the hell are you?” I start to piece it all together. This must be Colt.

  Mike walks into the room and looks at me. His mouth drops, his eyes narrow into an angry glare, and his brows furrowed. “Dana, Jesus Christ. Put some clothes on.”

  In my tired state I did not realize when I sat up to confront the asshole that woke me up, the sheet fell to my stomach. Leaving my breasts exposed.

  “Shit.” I said. Covering myself back up with the sheet. My face beat red from embarrassment. “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was gonna barge in.”

  “This is my room, bitch. It’s not considered barging in.” This guy may be sexy as all hell but I am not about to let him or anyone for that matter treat me like garbage.

  “Relax Conor McGregor, there is a smoking hot girl in your bed. Your life could be worse.” They both roll their eyes at me.

  “You are nothing special, sweetheart. I’ve seen better.” This cocky son of a bitch. I bite my lower lip trying to keep my frustration at bay. I see the red-haired Adonis smirk a little and lick his lips. He acts like he wouldn’t go for me, but the way he is acting says something different. So much for me being nothing special.

  “Okay you two, break it up. Dana, we will let you get dressed and I will see you downstairs. New house rule, don’t sleep naked in a house full of guys.” Mike turns to Colt. “Sorry, I didn’t think you would be home this weekend so I told my little sister she could stay in your room. Tonight, she will sleep on the couch. Try to not be a dick to her. She is having a rough time.”

  I cut in. “Um….my personal business, Mike. Shut it.” I glare at him.

  They both leave, Colt lingers for a second. “See you downstairs, sweetheart.” He smirks.

  I roll my eyes. I don’t know what to make of this guy, he is such a douchebag. I can’t believe Mike is friends with him! Quickly, I get up and look through the bag to see what I have for clothes. It seems like my dad packed all my clothes and my laptop but nothing else. Not a bra or panties in sight… great. I grab whatever is on top. I throw on a baggy t-shirt and my Nike running shorts. As I start to make my way down the dark staircase to the living room, I am dreading the bunch of guys that I know are down there, probably already anticipating my entrance. Thanks a lot, to the dick who had to announce my “desperate” naked body was taking over his bed.

  I walk down the creaky stairs, and wince at the bright sunlight hitting me from the windows near the front door. As I step onto the first floor, I realize I have no clue where Mike is. I look around, the living room is to my left I guess since I can see the couch. This place looks a bit more cleaned up this morning, than it did last night. It still is full on frat house though. I head towards the living room. The guy I saw sleeping on the couch last night, is still in the same spot but now he is sitting up and staring right at me. He points in front of him, I look over and see the kitchen directly across from the couch. Mike is standing in front of the kitchen counter, leaning against it. Two coffees sitting near him, I am hoping one of them is for me. Mike is shaking his head and laughing.

  “So, you did bring clothes with you?” He looks smug.

  “Mike don’t be a dick! I was too tired last night to look and see if dad packed me anything to sleep in.” Bringing up dad reminded me of everything that happened last night. What am I going to do? I can’t stay with Mike forever. Especially since I just got kicked out of my room on the first night.

  “Okay, so spill it. What did dad do?” I can tell Mike is nervous, I know he is questioning if he even wants to know. I hesitate even getting into this conversation
. I know he is going to make me talk about it though. I walk closer to the counter and Mike pushes a coffee over to me.

  “Actually, nothing this time. He caught me sneaking in my bedroom window again. This time he didn’t let me in. He had already had my shit packed at the front door. I could see it in his eyes, if I was a smart ass it was going to be bad. So instead I called you. He means it this time, Mike. He looked right through me when he was yelling at me. He won’t let me back in. I don’t know what I am gonna do.”

  “You can stay here as long as you need. You should have been here with me from the start anyway.” Mike is firm in his answer.

  “I can’t afford to live on my own, my job doesn’t pay enough. I can’t just stay here and mooch off you. I will do it to dad, but not you.” I look at him, feeling lost.

  “I am sure we can find something for you to do at the gym. Henry knows what we have been through, he knows all about dad. I am sure he will help.” His look of determination is strong.

  Now that I am here, I know he won’t let me leave. He will give me his job at the gym if it means I would stay. Maybe this whole situation is a blessing in disguise. I guess time will tell, but for now I will stay here. At least with Mike I feel safe. I need that comfort right now. I am not sure how it is going to be though living with a bunch of guys. I don’t care enough to worry about that now.